How to Win Friends and Influence People
Financial success, according to Dale Carnegie, depends 15% on professional knowledge, and 85% on the ability to express ideas, assume leadership and motivate people. How to Win Friends and Influence People, promises that if you apply the principles in his book, you can increase your self-confidence, influence and effectiveness. You will learn how to treat people in a way that they feel important and appreciated, to manage people without feeling like they’re being manipulated, and many other techniques of great use. If we learn to interact better with people around us, we increase our ability to achieve anything we set our mind to in life. Hence the importance of this classic self-help book, which has sold more than 15 million copies over the course of more than 60 years.
Some of the book’s main recommendations are:
Don’t criticize, condemn or complain – Criticism is useless because it puts the other person on the defensive and usually makes them try to justify themselves. Criticism is dangerous because it hurts pride, which is so precious to people it offends their sense of importance and awakens their resentment. In the thousand pages Of How to Win Friends and Influence people there are examples aplenty of the futility of criticism. When we deal with people we must remember that we are not dealing with logical creatures, we are dealing with emotional creatures, creatures with prejudices who are driven by pride and vanity. Instead of condemning people, we should try to understand them. Showing interest in people brings out their sympathy, tolerance and kindness.
Below is a summary of rules which the book promotes:
- Do not criticize
- Do not condemn or complain
- Demonstrate honest and sincere appreciation
- Awaken desire in others
- Show concern for others
- A person’s own name is the most important sound to them in any language
- A good listener is one who encourages others to talk about themselves
- Make others feel important, and do it sincerely
- Make others think like yourself
- The only way to win in a discussion is to avoid it
- Demonstrate respect for the opinions of others.
- Never tell a person they are wrong
- If you are wrong, admit it
- Start by being friendly
- Get the other person to say “yes” immediately
- Let the other person talk more
- Let the other person feel it’s their idea
- Try to honestly see things from another person’s point of view
- Show sympathy for the ideas and wishes of the other person; appealing to their more noble motives
- Challenge people, tactfully
- Be a friendly leader
- Start with praise and sincere appreciation
- Call attention to the errors of others indirectly before they criticize others
- Ask questions rather than give orders
- Let the a person preserve their own prestige
- Praise the little guy
How to Win Friends and Influence People had tremendous success in its day, and after a brief hiatus in oblivion, it returns full force. In fact, a large part of modern marketing is based on the ideas exposed in it. A must read for anyone in business.